Before you jump to conclusions about the title I want you to think about something. What do you expect from the person you're involved with? Are your expectations realistic? Is God at the center or is He just a means to your happiness? I ask these questions because it's important to know these things before and while in marriage.
Marriage is sacred, it's God's idea and He's committed to it. The question is are we? For many of us if we're honest the answer is, NO!
Today I want you to consider three things about marriage and let the convo begin:
1) Marriage is about holiness, not happiness
2) Conflict should strengthen your marriage, not separate you two
3) The beauty and point of marriage is Christian maturity
These three points are important to understand because you can bank on this, you will be sinned against and you will sin against your mate. If you don't understand this you will place a standard of 'emotional perfection' that you don't and can't live up to. Sin is to be expected and should remind the two of you of God's grace, love, mercy and patience with you. As the two of you meditate and live in that reality there isn't room for pointing the finger at each other, because both of you are living in light of God's grace. The beauty of marriage is realizing how much God love you two and sharing God's unconditional love and grace with each other.
This particular video will be a series because I obviously can cover everything in one video. As we continue to unpack this together I need your comments, questions and experiences.
You have the mic, let's talk...
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In my experience, realizing that I had unrealistic expectations was one the hardest, yet freeing moments of our marriage. When my spouse truly disappointed for the first time, I realized that it was me who had unintentionally made an idol of my mate. He had never disappointed me before, and I began to expect it and so much more of him...such a dangerous road. But thankfully, I now realize that he is only a man..And I prayed for God to help me love him the way God loves me...unconditionally. And I pray that he turns to God to love me the same way, because I mess up too. And although this was no biggie or relationship destroying disappointment, it made me realize that if one of that caliber comes up...we will make it. I am thankful for that assurance.
ReplyDeleteAs a single man I definitely agreed with the point you made about unrealistic expectations. When I think about that I thought back to when I had a list... yes, I had a check list of what I want my future spouse to be like. Hearing what you just discussed only confirms that doing that would be selffish and only looking out for my best interest rather than what GOD wants her to be and me to expect. Before when I thought about that, I would think that I would just be "settling" because the woman would be what GOD wanted for me rather than what I wanted for myself. I know GOD is going to give me the kind of woman that will compliment the kingdom, which is what I should want in the first place, not for me but of course the glory of GOD. I appreciate the reading suggestions. I dont have the money to buy books right now(struggling college student) but I will definitely keep a list of these books.
ReplyDelete"Marriage is about holiness, not happiness" That is a hard pill to swallow. If only this concept could soak into singles (including when I was single) prior to marriage, then maybe the divorce rate would be lower.
ReplyDeleteWho doesn't want to be happy? But when understanding the big picture is Christ and both parties putting Christ first equals happiness in the marriage. But not to confuse it with perfection.